Well done good and faithful servant...

Mark Francis Kailing returned to his Heavenly home on May 21.  Mark is the youngest child born to Rebecca Reynolds Silverberg (San Francisco, CA), and Gene Kailing ( step-mom Susan, Beckwourth, CA).  Mark was born and raised in beautiful San Francisco, CA and the surrounding area.  He was very close in age with his only siblings, his sisters; Rachel Strom (Pacifica, CA) and Ariel Wundes  (brother-in-law, John, Hayward, CA). 

     Mark found the gospel of Jesus Christ at age 23 and it forever changed his life.   He was sealed to his love, LaDena in the Logan, LDS Temple on August 13, 1992.  Together they created an exciting life.   They welcomed five children into their forever family; Andrew Solomon (16), Aubrielle ShaLina (15), Ammoriah Rachelle (12),  Ava Olea (8), and Amari Shinehah (4).  

      Mark was never discouraged when life became challenging.  Even when he faced the hardship of cancer for 3 ½ years he would say, “God deserves the benefit of the doubt.”  Mark served in many callings in the church and was able to love and influence many people in congregations in San Francisco, Fresno, Modesto, Winnemucca, Logan and Providence.  He shared with us recently; “I have experienced the choicest blessings because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I will die a very happy man.”

     Mark loved being in the water.  Nature always has a way of inspiring and healing one’s soul and he took every opportunity to swim, hike, camp, and other outdoor adventures.   Mark loved to seek beauty in the world in appreciating; sunsets, waterfalls, wildlife, a full moon, lightning storm,  and his favorite thing of all, scuba-diving.  Mark shared many of these experiences with his large circle of friends. 

     Mark graduated as a doctor from California School of Professional Psychology, in Fresno, CA, in June of 1996.  Mark began his professional career testing and counseling at a high school in Fresno, then a rural clinic in Corcoran, CA.  He did his residency placement at Fresno City Community College and his post-doctoral internship in Modesto at a psychiatric hospital.  He joined a group practice; Evergreen Family Institute in Logan, UT.  With a growing family he decided to take a psychologist position at Winnemucca  Mental Health in Nevada.  Eventually he opened a private practice in both Winnemucca, and Logan and has been working both locations for many years.  Even through cancer treatments, Mark never quit working.  He always loved to teach.  During his education a professor taught him, “You don’t really understand something until you can explain it simply.” This led Mark to develop very simplified theories on life, personality, the universe, truth, etc. His ability to make the profound simple is what has made him a good teacher.  Dr. Kailing touched the lives of hundreds in his years of service as a psychologist.  He loved seeing the growth and improvement in the lives of others. 

     Mark is survived by his wife, children, parents, siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews, and countless more family and friends.  He is preceded in death by his grandparents, step-father, and several friends. 

    Funeral services for Mark will be held on Friday, May 24^th in the LDS Stake Center located at 485 West 225 South, Providence UT.   Visitation will be from  10:00 to 11:30 and the funeral services will begin at 12:00. Final resting place will be at the Providence Cemetery.  Funeral under the direction of Serenicare Funeral Home of Providence.

Love One Another

Today Mark is resting.  We're expecting his sisters to be here in a few hours.  He doesn't talk very much.  He has a lot of issues to manage.  He keeps his eyes closed most of the time. 

 

A lot of you have been asking me "What can I do for you?", and now I have an answer.  Me, Andrew, Aubrielle, Ammoriah, Ava and Amari are hurting right now, but we know we're not the only ones.  Many of you are really sad.  I want to ask you all to help each other through this.  I won't be able to return a lot of messages.  I will get them, but I won't respond to them all...there are a zillion of them :)

 

Love each other.  Just help each other as you can.  Everyone grieves differently, and that's cool. You guys need comfort that I'm not able to give right now. 

 

We have the most amazing friends and family ever.  We love you all so very much.  Thank you for all you've done, and will do, to bless us.  You are treasured.

 

I took some pictures of blossoms today on my drive home from work.  They are so beautiful and I wanted to share them with you. 

 

 

The Rose Game

     When I took Mark a plastic urinal the other day, I gave it to him with a red, silk rose. 
He laughed.  We have a long history of surprising each other with a red, silk rose as a way to say, "I'm thinking of you, I love you."  

      Usually, the gesture is simple, we hide it on the pillow, on the computer, on the steering wheel, in the shower, etc.  Over the years there have been some more creative moves.  We shared our tradition with our friends and now when we go on couples dates, you can assume there will be a surprise somewhere!  We had a waiter put red, silk roses on the dessert plates prior to bringing them to our table.  We decorated a Christmas tree with ornaments using red, silk roses before we sat down to dinner beside it (the guys didn't notice even when we commented about the tree).  There were surprises while we snorkeled in the Caribbean, and while playing water volleyball at Downatta.  We like to have fun with it.

     Today there is a red, silk rose above Mark's hospital bed so that when he sees it, he knows that I'm thinking of him, and that I love him.  He is resting a lot, and even typing up psychological evaluations when he can.  He is pretty amazing. 

Faith and Love

     I know, more than I know anything, that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  I believe in the Plan of Happiness, that our family is eternal.  I don't want Mark to die, but I trust the Lord.

Doctors told us today that we may only have days left.  Mark is losing too much blood everyday.  All of Mark's family is gathering here.  Hospice has set up a hospital bed and daily care. 

I love Mark and I love God, I don't know how everything will work out but I know that the plan for us includes LOVE.

A Big, Happy Day for the Kailing Family

 Ava is baptized by Daddy, who had to be in a wheelchair and barely enough energy, but it happened.  It was spiritually powerful.  We are so thankful to all of our friends and family that were able to come and celebrate with us.

Swimming Upstream

     Have you ever watched a fish swim upstream?  I did when I was in Canada and it is truly inspirational.  These fish are so tenacious.  We watched as we stood on a bridge over a very intense spot on the river, it would seem impossible that the fish could make it.  They would thrash up and out of the water and then the force of the water would cause them to slap into the rocks along  the side of this narrow spot, and then...they would do it again.  Tourists like us would cheer them on with each attempt. It is inspirational to us because we know that we tend to give up much easier when the forces of nature work against our path. 

     I know that there is a lot of intense energy working against my desired path in life right now.  I know that my family has worked hard to continue to swim upstream during this trial.  I know that we are sore, tired, frustrated and at times, ready to stop "swimming". 

     Lately I've been thinking about many of our close friends.  I know a lot of their stories.  I want to let each of you know you much you impress me.  Your tenacity, your ability to swim upstream in the hardships of your life give me so much inspiration right now.  Not only have you had to fight against some serious issues, but you've done so without bitterness, even looking for the blessings in the trial.  Thank you for showing me the way.  Thank you for being the fish that keeps swimming no matter how many times it gets held back or beat down.

     To give you an update on Mark;  since the drainage port has been put in place we've had a few new issues to deal with.  It wasn't the fix we thought it would be, it helps but it isn't great.  We've had some more rough nights.  These past few days have been doable with the help of Cameron, Beck, my Mom and dinners from awesome sisters in our ward.  Thank you. 

     I can't promise we can do this much longer, but for now we "keep swimming". 

Four Hospital Trips in one Week

We ran to the Huntsman last Tuesday, again last Friday, we spent Sunday night in Logan ER then returned to the Huntsman today.  There has been over 8 liters of fluid drained from the lining around his right lung.  Today they surgically placed a drainage port under his right arm.  The procedure was tricky and it took a lot out of him.  He is in a lot of pain and is very weak. 

While killing time Mark and I played hangman.  Here is one of our games.  Of course we started singing the song in Louis Armstrong voice and that got me laughing, and unfortunately when Mark laughs he has painful coughing fits, so I stopped.

Thanks again to all who have helped with childcare, errands, meals etc.  We have a lot of company coming in this week for Ava's baptism.  I'm thankful for all that are helping me prepare for that special day. 

Lately when I pray, I don't know what to pray for except peace.  Peace for all of us.